plane-taking-off

Tuesday

As soon as the doors opened in St. Thomas I ran off of the ship hoping I’d have cell service so that I could call home. I didn’t, said, “Fuck it!” and turned my phone on roaming.

After 2 minutes on the phone with my mom she was offering to book a flight home for me. I was crying again. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if he was trying his best and his best just wasn’t good enough for me. Or, if he was blowing me off.

I told my mom not to book anything yet. I had to speak to him first. So I headed back to the ship to call him.

TurkishDelight: <unintelligible sleepy voice>
WinterInNYC: Hey, it’s me.
TurkishDelight: <unintelligible sleepy voice>
WinterInNYC: You sleeping?
TurkishDelight: <click>

Now, I was beginning to panic. I had a very short window to book a flight home, pack, get off of the ship and get to the airport. Flying out of St. Maarten the next day would have been pricey because it would have meant booking a flight through a different airline and then I’d be at sea for the final two days with no way to escape. It was now or never. I needed to talk to him!

I waited for TurkishDelight to return my call. He didn’t. So I headed up to his restaurant. He wasn’t there so I sat and waited. I called him again…no answer. I waited some more.

By 12:30pm I was back in my room replaying the past 3 days. Did the bad cancel out the good?

In my gut I knew that something had changed. If I stayed, I knew that I would be on my own for the remainder of the trip. I would have seen him at lunch and dinner, like all of the other 6,000 guests. Maybe he would have hung out in my room again if he felt like getting laid.

But we would not have been going to dinner together like he had planned a week prior. We would not have gone to the dance club or comedy club or bar together. We would not have gotten off of the boat to snorkel or shop or head to the beach.

He blew me off the night before and didn’t even have the decency to call me and let me know that he wasn’t going to come over.

And now I couldn’t reach him…when he was always reachable before.

I called my mom and told her to book the flight.

As tears ran down my face I re-packed my suitcase with dresses he never saw, shoes I never wore and lingerie that still had their price tags hanging from them.

I headed down to guest services and after getting approval to disembark the ship I called his phone again and this time he picked up.

I told him that I was leaving the ship. He seemed confused and asked me why? The phone connection was poor which made the conversation difficult but I did hear him say, “You knew that I would be working.” What I didn’t hear was an apology. I told him that I knew that he would be working when I booked and that I saw how hard he worked and how many hours he worked. I told him that I wasn’t mad, just disappointed, and that I just couldn’t be on my own for another 4 days. I told him I had to go and hung up the phone.

I had to wait till 4:00pm for the customs agent to escort me off of the ship. I was miserable. I felt as though I had a made a rash decision to leave. I was heartbroken that I didn’t have an opportunity to talk to him, before booking the flight. I wanted to tell him how I was feeling and find out if he could have made more time for me…if he even wanted to.

I called TurkishDelight back. I was sobbing on the phone and asked him to come down and see me before I left. I didn’t want it to end this way.

He told me he couldn’t because he was in a meeting and then hung up the phone.

I will never know if leaving was the right decision.
I will never know if he intended to spend more time with me but lost interest after seeing me.
I will never know if he truly was working all of those extra hours.
I will never know if he would have persuaded me to stay if I had reached him on the phone before booking the flight.
I will never know if he would have spent more time with me.
I will never know if my leaving upset him in the slightest.

What I do I know is that I’m tired of being disappointed, rejected and disregarded by men.

 

104282_20130821_050550_Triue

girl-on-bed-waiting-for-phone-call

Monday

He tossed and turned all night. He stole the covers. And instead of waking up to room service or morning sex like I had hoped, TurkishDelight’s ringing phone woke us at 10:00am. It was his boss telling him he had to work.

TurkishDelight jumped out of bed and got dressed. He apologized about breakfast and said we would do it another day. On his way out he mentioned that my bed wasn’t as comfortable as his bed….at that moment I knew he wouldn’t be sleeping over again.

He kissed me on the forehead and left.

I won’t bore you with the hour-by-hour cruise itinerary on my 3rd day on the ship but that day we were at sea…and I was trapped. I ate, I read, I drank, I gambled, I layed out, I listened to music, I watched TV, I masturbated, I window shopped, I explored the ship.

And I did all of this alone.

By 4:00pm I was in my room fighting off an anxiety attack.

I was so incredibly lonely and bored and disappointed and confused. Except for a 1-minute chat in front of the lunch buffet, TurkishDelight and I didn’t talk or see each other the entire day. And we had no plans to see each other.

Why hadn’t TurkishDelight planned any activities like we had discussed? Why hadn’t he he asked me to go to dinner with him? Why hadn’t we grabbed a drink between his lunch and dinner shift? Why hadn’t he told me what day he had off yet? Why hadn’t we planned an excursion for St. Thomas or St. Maarten?

A little while later my stateroom phone rang. TurkishDelight was checking in. I asked him if we could go somewhere on the ship together after he got off of work that night. We could grab a drink? Check out the comedy club? Take a walk?

But instead he told me that since the ship was headed into St. Thomas tomorrow, a US port, they had to make sure the kitchens were clean for inspection. He wouldn’t be getting off of work until 1:00am again. It would be too late to do anything. He told me this shouldn’t stop me from doing all of these things on my own.

We ended the conversation with him telling me that he would call me when he got off of work.

What the fuck!?!? He had a piece of paper in his pocket that gave him full access to the ship for 7 straight days. It was day 3 and we hadn’t gone anywhere together.

It was really starting to dawn on me that either I booked this vacation based on misinterpreted text messages or he changed his mind.

I was leaning towards the latter.

TurkishDelight made it very clear to me before booking and even after I booked that we would have plenty of time together. He told me that whenever he wasn’t working we would be together.

This was clearly not the case.

Was I over-reacting? Was I expecting too much from him? Maybe…

That night I fell asleep and woke up at 12:45am anxiously waiting for his call. I brushed my teeth, combed my hair and waited…

And waited…

And waited…

He never called.

By 2:00am I found myself crying alone in my stateroom with memories of my last cruise flooding my mind.

Could I really handle this for another 4 days?

Do-Not-Disturb

Sunday

I woke up feeling optimistic. I replayed the entire day and night in my head and reminded myself that TurkishDelight did everything he could to welcome me aboard, make me feel special and he appeared genuinely happy to see me.

I just needed to ignore the fact that he chose to sleep in a windowless broom closet at the bottom of the ship…alone….when he could have slept in my room with an ocean front terrace and a king sized bed with a guaranteed wake-up blow job.  Not a big deal at all!

The ship was docked in the Bahamas when I got out of bed. I had no intention of getting off of the ship since I had already been to the Bahamas twice, so I threw on my bathing suit and cover-up, ate a quick breakfast and headed to the top of the ship to lay out.

By 8:30am, I was swimming in my own sweat in the lounge chair and was already tired of the book I was reading on my Kindle. I thought to myself, “Fuck…this is going to be a long day!”

I decided to disembark and do what I do best…..go shopping!

I made my way back to the linen store that sold amazing bamboo sheets and purchased another set. Then I started popping in to jewelry stores and fell in love with a gorgeous Movado watch that I had no business buying, but I did.

I was back on the boat around noon and headed to the restaurant to see TurkishDelight. As I was walking up to TurkishDelight I saw him on the phone. He turned around, saw me and smiled and walked over holding up his phone. He showed me that he was calling my room at that very moment to see how I was doing.

I told him about my purchases and he told me that he couldn’t wait to see the watch later.

I sat down to eat lunch and tried to ignore the loneliness I was beginning to feel. This was the 3rd meal I was eating alone on the ship…I had 16 more to go.

Would he ever eat a meal with me?

I had three hours before my spa appointment so I headed to the Internet library to send a few emails. Afterwards, I headed back to the room to sit on my terrace and read.

My 4:30pm 75-minute bamboo massage was out of this world. After the massage I showered, threw on a long black knit dress with high-heeled sandals and headed to the casino before dinner.

At 8:30pm I called TurkishDelight to see if he was ready for me to come to dinner. He told me that he was swamped and asked me to call back in a few minutes.

I waited 20 minutes and tried him back again and he told me to come for dinner at 9:00pm. I was standing outside of the dining room waiting for my escort and the place was mobbed. By 9:20pm I was still waiting to be seated. I was starving, my feet were starting to hurt and I was beginning to feel like a nuisance.

By 9:30pm I was finally seated. TurkishDelight was so busy he barely had time to stop by my table to say hello. But I understood. I saw how hard he was working. We would have our time later.

By 10:30pm he walked me out and I asked him what time he was getting off of work. He told me that his shift ended at 11:00pm but that he had a staff meeting that would end around 1:00am. He said he would call me after the meeting.

I was bummed!!  Do cruises really have staff meetings at night? I don’t know. I will never know.

I fell asleep and woke up to the phone ringing at 1:00am. He told me he was going to come over.

We got into bed and watched a World Cup game. We talked for a while, about our families, jobs, finding love and his dream of moving to NY in a few years. As we drifted off to sleep I asked him if we could order room service in the morning and eat on the terrace together. He said yes and told me what he would order.

We didn’t kiss.
Not once.
But at least he was there…

Cruise

How many times can you be disappointed before you stop expecting?
How many times can you be rejected before you stop trying?
How many times can you be disregarded before you stop caring?

As I sat in the St. Thomas airport waiting for my delayed flight to take off…I cried. For 16 hours that day I cried. My red rimmed puffy eyes concealed by the new Ray-Bans I treated myself to for my vacation. And as I cried, and as strangers stared at me wondering what was wrong with me, I whispered to myself, “I’m tired of hurting.”

Saturday

I boarded the ship around 2pm. I headed to my stateroom, re-applied my make-up that was running down my face from the heat, straightened my hair for the 20th time that day because of the humidity and checked out my outfit in the full length mirror, again, to make sure that it was the perfect outfit to be seen in by the guy I hadn’t seen in 19 months. My nerves were out of control and after pacing the stateroom for about 15 minutes I finally built up enough courage to pick up the phone and dial his #.

WinterInNYC: TurkishDelight?
TurkishDelight: WinterInNYC!!! Where have you been? I thought you changed your mind!
WinterInNYC: Of course not!! They told me to board at 1:30pm. I just got on the ship.
TurkishDelight: Welcome! Welcome! I’m working on deck 15 – come now! Come see me!
WinterInNYC: OK! I’ll be up in a few minutes.
TurkishDelight: Great! See you soon!

Before heading upstairs there was a knock on my door. I was greeted with a bottle of champagne, a fruit plate and cupcakes with a card that read, “Enjoy – from TurkishDelight.” So thoughtful!

We hugged.

At first all I could think about was how tall he was! I didn’t remember him being that tall. When I commented on how tall he was he laughed and then I smiled because his laugh I remembered.

He sat me at a table facing the water and had a waiter bring over a glass of white wine. I lied and told him I wasn’t hungry. The first hour of him seeing me would not include stuffing my face at the buffet. I read my kindle, texted my friends and family, sipped my wine and on occasion glanced over my shoulder to checkout this hot Turkish man I was going to spend the next 7 days with.

After about an hour, I started to get antsy, so I caught his attention and told him that I was going to head back to the room and unpack. He told me that he would call me later to sign the paperwork which would give him permission to go anywhere on the ship with me…including my stateroom.

Relief washed over me. He had seen me in person and he still wanted me to sign the all-access paperwork.

He called me around 4:00pm to sign the paperwork. He reviewed the form with me and pointed out that in order for him to have access to my stateroom he had to write that I was his spouse. I smiled to myself. Lies feel good sometimes.

I headed back to my stateroom to shower and get dressed. I chose a super short long-sleeved black cotton/lace dress with very sexy camel colored 3” stiletto ankle boots. Hair done, make-up on, legs tanned, shaved and oiled, I headed to the casino to kill some time before dinner.

At 8:30pm I headed to the dining room. A waiter came out to get me and escorted me to a table in TurkishDelight’s section. As I walked over to the table, TurkishDelight was standing nearby talking to guests, and he looked up just as I was walking by. Our eyes met and he smiled. I felt relief and excitement in that moment. I was looking at a man who was genuinely happy with what he was looking at…me.

The waiters were extremely attentive to me, TurkishDelight made sure of that. Two glasses of wine later I was happy and comfortable and looking forward to a fun night. TurkishDelight stopped by my table a handful of times to see how I was doing. Towards the end of dinner I asked him what time he would be getting off of work and he told me around 10:30pm. He said he would call me when he was done.

At 10:45pm I heard the knock on my door. Finally! After 19 months of regret. After 19 months of kicking myself in the ass for not getting dressed and throwing on some make-up to hang out with a ridiculously hot man at 8:00pm on a Thursday night, I was finally getting my 2nd date.

We talked for a long time. I was feeling confident and pretty and smart and proud of myself for taking such a big risk by going on this cruise by myself.

At one point he mentioned that his shift this week was lunch and dinner, he tried, but couldn’t switch. I was disappointed and a little worried. I knew what this meant. He would be working almost the entire day every day for the next 7 days. I tried to stay positive. We would make the best of it. I would make the best of it.

After what seemed like forever, he got up off the couch to pour some more champagne and on his return to the couch he kissed me. And in that instant I was transported back to that dark sidewalk on the upper west side of Manhattan on a cold winter day.

It had taken 19 months but it was worth the wait.

Midway through the evening we found ourselves standing on the terrace over looking the dark ocean. The stars were out, the air was heavy and all you could hear was the ship crawling through the waves. It was extremely romantic. When he came up from behind me, moved my hair away from my neck and started to nibble on my ear and then moved slowly down my neck, I melted.

I led him back to the bed for round two.

By 2:00am he told me that he had to get up early for staff room inspections and was going to go. I was definitely disappointed to hear that he wasn’t sleeping over. He sensed my disappointment and asked me if that was ok? I lied, and said of course it was. I told him I understood. He said he would stay over the next night.

He kissed me goodnight on my lips and then on my forehead.

My first day on the ship had gone remarkably well but as I drifted off to sleep I had this unsettling feeling….why didn’t he stay?

heart-wings

A year ago, my psychic told me that the man I would spend my life would be the type of guy who my family and friends would judge and it would be my job to show them all why he is the love of my life.

So when I received an email on Match from an overweight Harley riding tattooed fisherman from Suffolk, I replied, considering that the people in my life would surely judge this guy!

My psychic also pulled a tarot card during my reading that had two wings on it and he interpreted the card to mean that together we would be two wings and together we would fly.

So when Justin told me that he flew planes I started browsing wedding magazines and picking out baby names.

We were definitely different….that was for sure! But through his emails and then texts, I really started to like him. He was an absolute sweetheart.

After a 2.5 hour phone conversation we decided to meet for coffee.   I prayed I would be attracted to him….

Justin was big. Justin was a very big boy. He was 6’0 tall and probably weighed close to 300lbs.

I’ve never dated a guy with a few extra pounds on him and Justin had a bit more than a few extra pounds but he really was such a sweet guy…..

Assuming he would be able to fuck me I figured I’d be able to get over the weight issue.

Plus, as we headed into Dunkin Donuts I felt like a size 2!

I loved talking to Justin for those 2 hours. He was so cute and interesting. He thought I was a hoot and told me that I was even more beautiful in person. We talked about riding his Harley together and told me where I could buy riding boots. He offered to take me out on his friends boat so that we could go fishing. I told him that I’d never been out to wine country and he told me that there is no better way to experience wine country than on a bike in the summer and that he’d love to take me out there.

Before leaving Dunkin, Justin asked me what my plans were for the coming weekend. He asked to take me to an early dinner Sunday night and I told him that I’d love to.

It doesn’t happen often that I’m asked out on a 2nd date before the 1st date ends so I was beaming from ear to ear as we headed out.

He walked me to my car. We stood in the parking lot for anther few minutes chatting.   I was patiently waiting for a goodnight kiss, which never came, instead we hugged.

We would kiss…when the time was right.

Thursday

Justin: Heyyyy I had a great time tonight. I just got home.
WinterInNYC: Wow that was fast! I had a great time too – thank you again for the coffee :-) I know u sacrificed for me and didn’t get ur Starbucks
Justin: Anytime! I had a great time as well. It’s ok about the Starbucks. I was in good company so I was happy :-)
WinterInNYC: :-)

 

Friday

WinterInNYC: What’s up?
Justin: In bed LOL dog was sick all night and kept me up
WinterInNYC: Ugh
Justin: He’s really not doing well. I’m gunna take him to the vet now. Something is wrong.
WinterInNYC: Poor thing :-( keep me posted
Justin: Starting to worry me
WinterInNYC: He may just have a bug. See what the vet says. Try not to worry.
WinterInNYC: Everything ok?
Justin: They r doing tests….
WinterInNYC: u ok?

 

Saturday

WinterInNYC: Justin?
Justin: Hey. Sorry I didn’t get back to u last night. Came home after the vet and passed out. They kept him at the vet for observation.
WinterInNYC: How’s he doing?
Justin: He was really crappy last night when I left him. Gunna head there in a bit.
WinterInNYC: What r ur plans for today?

 

Sunday

WinterInNYC: I’m so confused

Not hearing back from Justin was so surprising and incredibly unexpected that I started to think that something had happened to him.

I thought his dog died. I thought his father died. I thought his plane crashed. I thought he got into a motorcycle accident and was in the hospital.

There was no way after the date we had, the fact that he asked me out for a 2nd date and called and texted the previous two weeks as often as he did that he was blowing me off.

He was dead. I convinced myself.

But then one quick call to his office Monday morning confirmed that Justin was alive and well.

Nothing had happened to him.

I just went out on a date with a dick.

If you can explain to me what happened, I’ll either blow you, or blow your husband/boyfriend for you so you don’t have to!

 

The Moroccan and I we were off and running after my birthday bash.

He couldn’t get enough of me and called and texted me several times a day to tell me.

And I couldn’t get enough of him, especially after confirming that his penis was comparable to the Utahan’s.

Happy Birthday WinterInNYC!

One night the Moroccan suggested that he sleep over and drive me to work in the morning.

We snuggled and fell asleep together watching a movie and then played house in the morning, as I got ready for work.

We stopped off at Dunkin, grabbed some much-needed coffee and headed into the city.

Pleasantly happy with how the night went and having no idea where we were headed (figuratively speaking) I sipped my coffee while we made small talk.

As we neared the midtown tunnel I looked over and caught a glimpse of his key chain in the car ignition….

#1 Dad

Wait! What? #1 Dad? The fucker told me he was single….

Turns out, I scored myself a married Moroccan father of 2!

And the reason why he was able to call me at all hours of the night, hang out with me almost every day for three weeks and sleep over whenever he wanted to was because his family lived in Morocco!

Although he didn’t make his real life confession during the drive into the city that morning, he finally came clean a few days later.

When I asked him why he lied to me he admitted that if he had told me the truth I wouldn’t have given him my number. Smart!

I have now realized that after our 2nd kiss when he told me that I kissed him like his wife, he didn’t mean that we had crazy chemistry and a level of comfort you have with a spouse.

He literally meant that I kissed like his wife!

Screen-Shot-2013-10-20-at-12_17_20

 

Two Fridays ago I started celebrating my birthday week by drinking with my fabulous girlfriends at a bar in Hell’s Kitchen.

Several hours/ciders later, I checked the train schedule and decided to head out to grab the 11:52pm train out of Penn Station.

With no taxis in sight and the clock ticking towards my departure time, I started to worry that I was going to miss my train.

I was starting to panic when a gypsy cab pulled up and the driver offered me a ride. These are town car drivers that hang out in the city waiting for calls from the company they work for but try to make money by picking up fares. Although its not legal for them to pick-up pedestrians it happens all of the time. Although I rarely accept rides from these drivers I was desperate and asked him how much?

Driver: $35
Me: Are you fucking kidding me? We are on 48th and 9th. Penn is on 34th and 8th.   Its like a $10 cab ride….I’ll give you $15.
Driver: $35
Me: You’re crazy dude! No thank you!
Driver: How much you want to pay?
Me: $15!
Driver: $30!
Me: You’re still fucking crazy! No thank you!
Driver: $25!
Me: I’ll give you $20! Not a dollar more!
Driver: Ok, get in.

I quickly found out that my driver was 34-year-old single Moroccan man living in Astoria who thought I was hot!

When we pulled up to Penn Station he asked me for my number and refused to take my $20. I gave him my phone # and insisted he take the $20 and ran for my train.

He called me an hour later to make sure I got home ok.

6 days later it was my birthday and I was headed to dinner and then a strip club to celebrate with Marilyn and two friends from work.

After trying to hail a cab for a few minutes outside of my office, I decided to text the Moroccan to see if he was in the city and could give us a lift. Within 10 minutes he was picking the four of us up and driving us to dinner.

Before he dropped us off I asked him if he would be able to drive Marilyn and me home to Long Island after the strip show and he said of course.

After being molested by the “butterface” strippers, the Moroccan picked the two of us up and we headed home. Marilyn quickly passed out in the backseat of the car and for the next hour the Moroccan held my hand and kissed me at every stoplight we hit.

My stomach was doing flips from nerves and excitement. Was I really making out with a Muslim Moroccan gypsy cab driver on my 34th birthday?

Hell yeah I was!

To be continued….

liebster-award1

I’m really grateful that my pitiful dating existence comprised of ridiculous stories about monster cocks, vulgar semen, sex so bad I need to shop at Costco for batteries and assholes that I like who never like me back has awarded me my 2nd Leibster Blog Award!

Thank you ID’s RED BOOK. I have a little cum on my face because I have not been following your blog and for that I apologize. I am now a follower and look forward to learning all about you. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope I continue to keep you interested and coming back for more!

Some of my readers have questioned whether or not all of my stories are true. How can one girl really have this much bad luck/crazy shit happen to her? Believe it or not….this is my life! My desire to love and be loved combined with a sex drive like a dog in heat plus a filthy mouth equal to a sailor’s, makes writing fun for you, my readers, and therapeutic for me. So…as long as crazy fucks continue to find me and fuck me and as long as I can continue to laugh after I cry after every bad date or failed relationship I will write.

I hope to satisfy some of your curiosities about WinterInNYC:

11 Questions to me from ID’s RED BOOK:

1. Is your blog better than mine? Don’t try to be objective, I want completely subjective.

I wish I could answer this question but I can’t since I just started to read your blog. Fuck, I feel like such a selfish twat. I promise to read and comment and like….and if that’s not enough I’ll just blow you….OK? Oh and if posting more often = better blog than yes…you win!

2. What is the most disgusting thing that you’ve ever seen… during sex?

Myself in a mirror….I hate hotels and their damn mirrors!

3. Can you properly use there, their, and they’re in a single sentence?

I asked the guys at the bar if they’re into anal and they said that they were but that their girlfriends wouldn’t let them put it in there!

4. Which 80′s band had the best sense of style? And why? (minimum 100 words)

I was born in 1980 and know very little about 80’s bands or their sense of style. Again…please forgive me for not answering and ignoring your 100 word requirement….I can lick your balls too?

5. Have you ever had an STI/STD?

No!

6. If you answered “Yes” to #5, have you ever had sex with me?

N/A

7. Do you have any coyote ugly stories? Please share.

No…the men I fuck usually leave a few minutes after they cum. Real gentlemen!

8. Do you believe that Jim Henson is the fucking man? Explain your answer in at least 100 words.

Any man that can find a pig a boyfriend is the fucking man in my book! He has given me hope!

9. Have you ever had sex while on any illegal substances? If so, would you recommend I try it?

Can’t say I have. I smoked weed in college but never got laid. Maybe I should start though….we can try it together!

10. You’re all bloggers, which post that you’ve written is your favorite?

Tough one! I would have to say my favorite blog is Mommy…What’s a _ _ _ _? My blog isn’t just about sex and dating…its about my life and this post is a good glimpse into my past and why I am the way I am.

11. If you answered “No” to #5 and #6, will you have sex with me for nominating you for this award? (Did anyone else notice that all the blogs I’ve nominated are written by women? Coincidence? I’ll let you decide.)

Ha! Well I already offered a blow job and ball licking…so sure!

11 Random Facts about me:

1. I had horribly crooked fucked up teeth until the age of 25 when I got invisalign. Best money I ever spent.

2. I got my first vibrator at the age of 19. It was forest green. My friends gave it to me at a bowling alley where I was celebrating my birthday.

3. I love to go bowling.

4. I once kept my grandparents waiting for me for dinner at a kosher deli because I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob on my parent’s waterbed. From that day forward I can’t eat matzah ball soup without thinking of blowjobs.

5. In high school I wanted to be a meteorologist and was accepted into Penn State’s meteorology program. Only 20 students from around the world were accepted. When the school told me I would need to spend my entire summer taking math classes I decided not to go. I was in love and didn’t want to miss out on a summer with Ryan. 17 year olds should not be in charge of their futures.

6. I believe in God. I talk to him all the time.

7. Senior year my sorority sisters voted me “Sister Most Likely To Suck The Chrome Off A Trailor Hitch”.

8. I fear that I won’t be strong enough to put my dog down. I pray that I won’t have to make that decision.

9. The 1st time I smoked weed I was a junior in college. I took 8 bong hits, went to a bar, threw up all over my shoes in the parking lot and then drove home.

10. I got my first bikini wax last week and I must admit I feel fucking sexy!

11. I once went on a blind date and the guy told me that I looked like a girl from MTV’s Real World….”You know the one, the pretty girl that needs to lose weight.”

Blogs I’m Nominating – These are the blogs that I thoroughly look forward to reading and hope they don’t hate me for sharing the love:

1. MeAndDating
2. Soon2BeCatLady
3. They Told Me To Find A Rich Husband
4. The Unfortunate Virgin Male
5. My So-Called Adventures In Dating

11 Questions for my Nominees:

1. Have you ever slept with someone and found out after the fact that they were married?

2. Could you ever stay with someone who cheated on you?

3. What would be the theme song of your life?

4. Did you ever steal something? What? Why?

5. Name 3 must-haves and 3 can’t stands in your ideal mate.

6. What’s your most embarrassing moment?

7. What vegetable do you most likely resemble?

8. Would you rather eat a diarrhea dipped banana or a sperm filled twinkie?

9. Who is your celebrity free pass?

10. What was your favorite gift?

11. Where was the craziest place you orgasmed?

For future Liebster Award recipients, here are the rules:

Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)

Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.

Provide 11 random facts about yourself.

Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)

Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.

List these rules in your post. Once you have written and published it, you then have to inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!)

Life Saver

Although I had sworn off Israeli men I went against my better judgment when a beautiful 23-year-old Israeli keep looking at my JDate profile. For weeks, every few days, he appeared in my “Members that have viewed you” section.

After 10 views I finally wrote him an email: “You are super cute and super young but I just had to say hello!”

This email led to a delightful friends with benefits situation…my first actually and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

After talking for about 2 months and hanging out a handful of times, I received a text from him telling me that he wanted to end our relationship. I was a tad disappointed but I wasn’t expecting anything out of the “relationship” other than some fun (as my friend Wendy always tells me, “You have to clean the cobwebs out every once in awhile!”) but I was hurt when he told me that he was heading back to Israel in a month and didn’t want to keep in touch.

This I didn’t get. What’s the big deal with being friends with someone on Facebook?

Take me and my Turkish Delight for example. We spent 4 wonderful hours together and we still keep in touch through Facebook and I met him over a year and a half ago…and he lives on a cruise ship for Christ’s sake!.

So after deleting the Israeli from my phone, I opened up Facebook Messenger to say hello to my Turkish Delight and tell him that I still thought he was a great guy!

Facebook Messenger Chat:

WinterInNYC: Hey! Just wanted to say hello and see how u were.
Turkish Delight: Thanks babe all good working still on the ship.
WinterInNYC: Having fun?
Turkish Delight: Not much :-( Same old thing. How are you?
WinterInNYC: Bored. I need a vacation. Trying to plan something for the summer.
Turkish Delight: Come here. Come on my ship.
WinterInNYC: Eh. Bad cruise experience…I think I’d rather lay on a beach somewhere.
Turkish Delight: Come down here for a cruise WinterInNYC. You will have a great vacation. Promise!
WinterInNYC: We haven’t seen each other in 1.5 years!
Turkish Delight: Yup! Come! Be my guest! I never forgot our kiss!
WinterInNYC: :-) It was a good kiss!

2 days later…..

WinterInNYC: I want to visit.
Turkish Delight: You can babe. Whenever you want. You will be my guest.

4 days later…..

WinterInNYC: Are you sure you want a visitor?
Turkish Delight: I like you. You are a nice girl and you need a vacation. I am here. I will take care of you.
WinterInNYC: I’m nervous.
Turkish Delight: Babe its up to you but if you want to feel happy and if you want me to take care of you come.
WinterInNYC: I want to see you its just scary!
Turkish Delight: Babe this is a huge ship. There are many things to do other than me!
WinterInNYC: Very funny!
Turkish Delight: I will have lots of time to spend with you. Come.

2 days later….

Turkish Delight: Hi babe! What’s up? Are you coming?
WinterInNYC: Hey! Haven’t made up my mind yet….
Turkish Delight: Ok let me know.

1 day later….

WinterInNYC: I’m booked!
Turkish Delight: Awesome!!!

Holy fuck! Now what?!?

It started with a wink. Continued with a bunch of great emails. Followed by flirty texts. He was interesting and he was interested in me. His emails and texts were filled with questions, important questions about what I was looking for in a relationship and was I close with my family?…not what kind of underwear did I wear?

On a random Wednesday, about two weeks after the wink, Sal asked me to grab a drink.

We met at a very nice Italian restaurant in my town and for 2 hours we talked and laughed and flirted.

He was 31, Italian, lived only two towns away from me, had his own apartment, a nice car and a great job. And he was hot!

We shared a romantic kiss outside of the restaurant that first date and when I texted him that I had gotten home safely, he texted back that he had a great time, couldn’t wait to see me again and liked my soft kisses.

The next day he texted early to see how my day was going. He asked when he could see me again?

That night I had an engagement but we texted throughout the night. When his friends stopped by and I offered to let him go he texted, “Why? You’re not bothering me.”

It was a pleasant change from my ex who basically forbade me from texting him when he was out and when I did he would just ignore me for hours on end.

Friday he texted me that he had plans with a buddy but that their outing should end on the early side, would I like to meet up with him after?

Of course!

At 9pm Sal texted me that he was home. He wasn’t up for going out but he invited me over. While I tried to figure out if I should go to his apartment for a 2nd date, Sal apologized for putting me in that position. He didn’t want to give me the wrong idea about him and understood that I probably wouldn’t want to go to his place so soon.

I mulled it over for a few minutes and finally decided that I felt comfortable seeing him at his apartment and watching a movie.

I walked into his bachelor pad and he gave me the grand tour.

In his foyer area he had all of his military awards and pictures hanging on the walls….and then I saw it…a signed picture of George and Laura Bush.

My gut reaction was a quick chuckle followed by an “Oy” followed by an eye roll and then I ended with a “I can’t believe you have Bush on your wall!”

Although I considered that night to be a super romantic 2nd date watching a comedy, holding hands and smooching, I later found out that Sal was trying to deal with the fact that I made an impolite comment about a President he liked, who he felt took great care of him and all members of the military while in office.

Our budding relationship was lost from the moment I uttered “Oy”.

The next 2 weeks his interest in me waned. He stopped asking me about anything of importance. Although I saw him two more times after our 2nd date, both times happened because I initiated the get-togethers. And, although we had fun (at least I thought so) when we saw each other, there was no push to move the relationship forward.

I randomly ran into Sal on Easter Sunday at a gas station. He came over to my car and we chatted for a bit.

Later in the day I texted him:

WinterInNYC: Seeing you today was a tease!
Sal: Why?
Winter InNYC: Because I like seeing you and 5 min at the pump isn’t enough!
WinterInNYC: Guess I shouldn’t have said anything.
Sal: Look, I really like hanging out with you but I don’t see this going anywhere.
WinterInNYC: Of course this isn’t going anywhere! We barely talk and you have kept me at arms length for the past month.
Sal: That wasn’t my intention. I’m just being honest.
WinterInNYC: Thanks for letting me know.
Sal: Sorry :-\

I was crushed.

I’ve lost guys before.
I’ve lost guys before for not being pretty enough, skinny enough or smart enough.
I’ve lost guys before for being too clingy.
I’ve lost guys before for being Jewish.
I’ve lost guys before for not being dirty enough or for being too dirty.

But in all of my 33 (almost 34) years on this earth, I have never lost a guy because of my political beliefs.

It ended with a bush, George Bush.

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