Life Saver

Although I had sworn off Israeli men I went against my better judgment when a beautiful 23-year-old Israeli keep looking at my JDate profile. For weeks, every few days, he appeared in my “Members that have viewed you” section.

After 10 views I finally wrote him an email: “You are super cute and super young but I just had to say hello!”

This email led to a delightful friends with benefits situation…my first actually and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

After talking for about 2 months and hanging out a handful of times, I received a text from him telling me that he wanted to end our relationship. I was a tad disappointed but I wasn’t expecting anything out of the “relationship” other than some fun (as my friend Wendy always tells me, “You have to clean the cobwebs out every once in awhile!”) but I was hurt when he told me that he was heading back to Israel in a month and didn’t want to keep in touch.

This I didn’t get. What’s the big deal with being friends with someone on Facebook?

Take me and my Turkish Delight for example. We spent 4 wonderful hours together and we still keep in touch through Facebook and I met him over a year and a half ago…and he lives on a cruise ship for Christ’s sake!.

So after deleting the Israeli from my phone, I opened up Facebook Messenger to say hello to my Turkish Delight and tell him that I still thought he was a great guy!

Facebook Messenger Chat:

WinterInNYC: Hey! Just wanted to say hello and see how u were.
Turkish Delight: Thanks babe all good working still on the ship.
WinterInNYC: Having fun?
Turkish Delight: Not much 😦 Same old thing. How are you?
WinterInNYC: Bored. I need a vacation. Trying to plan something for the summer.
Turkish Delight: Come here. Come on my ship.
WinterInNYC: Eh. Bad cruise experience…I think I’d rather lay on a beach somewhere.
Turkish Delight: Come down here for a cruise WinterInNYC. You will have a great vacation. Promise!
WinterInNYC: We haven’t seen each other in 1.5 years!
Turkish Delight: Yup! Come! Be my guest! I never forgot our kiss!
WinterInNYC: 🙂 It was a good kiss!

2 days later…..

WinterInNYC: I want to visit.
Turkish Delight: You can babe. Whenever you want. You will be my guest.

4 days later…..

WinterInNYC: Are you sure you want a visitor?
Turkish Delight: I like you. You are a nice girl and you need a vacation. I am here. I will take care of you.
WinterInNYC: I’m nervous.
Turkish Delight: Babe its up to you but if you want to feel happy and if you want me to take care of you come.
WinterInNYC: I want to see you its just scary!
Turkish Delight: Babe this is a huge ship. There are many things to do other than me!
WinterInNYC: Very funny!
Turkish Delight: I will have lots of time to spend with you. Come.

2 days later….

Turkish Delight: Hi babe! What’s up? Are you coming?
WinterInNYC: Hey! Haven’t made up my mind yet….
Turkish Delight: Ok let me know.

1 day later….

WinterInNYC: I’m booked!
Turkish Delight: Awesome!!!

Holy fuck! Now what?!?


It started with a wink. Continued with a bunch of great emails. Followed by flirty texts. He was interesting and he was interested in me. His emails and texts were filled with questions, important questions about what I was looking for in a relationship and was I close with my family?…not what kind of underwear did I wear?

On a random Wednesday, about two weeks after the wink, Sal asked me to grab a drink.

We met at a very nice Italian restaurant in my town and for 2 hours we talked and laughed and flirted.

He was 31, Italian, lived only two towns away from me, had his own apartment, a nice car and a great job. And he was hot!

We shared a romantic kiss outside of the restaurant that first date and when I texted him that I had gotten home safely, he texted back that he had a great time, couldn’t wait to see me again and liked my soft kisses.

The next day he texted early to see how my day was going. He asked when he could see me again?

That night I had an engagement but we texted throughout the night. When his friends stopped by and I offered to let him go he texted, “Why? You’re not bothering me.”

It was a pleasant change from my ex who basically forbade me from texting him when he was out and when I did he would just ignore me for hours on end.

Friday he texted me that he had plans with a buddy but that their outing should end on the early side, would I like to meet up with him after?

Of course!

At 9pm Sal texted me that he was home. He wasn’t up for going out but he invited me over. While I tried to figure out if I should go to his apartment for a 2nd date, Sal apologized for putting me in that position. He didn’t want to give me the wrong idea about him and understood that I probably wouldn’t want to go to his place so soon.

I mulled it over for a few minutes and finally decided that I felt comfortable seeing him at his apartment and watching a movie.

I walked into his bachelor pad and he gave me the grand tour.

In his foyer area he had all of his military awards and pictures hanging on the walls….and then I saw it…a signed picture of George and Laura Bush.

My gut reaction was a quick chuckle followed by an “Oy” followed by an eye roll and then I ended with a “I can’t believe you have Bush on your wall!”

Although I considered that night to be a super romantic 2nd date watching a comedy, holding hands and smooching, I later found out that Sal was trying to deal with the fact that I made an impolite comment about a President he liked, who he felt took great care of him and all members of the military while in office.

Our budding relationship was lost from the moment I uttered “Oy”.

The next 2 weeks his interest in me waned. He stopped asking me about anything of importance. Although I saw him two more times after our 2nd date, both times happened because I initiated the get-togethers. And, although we had fun (at least I thought so) when we saw each other, there was no push to move the relationship forward.

I randomly ran into Sal on Easter Sunday at a gas station. He came over to my car and we chatted for a bit.

Later in the day I texted him:

WinterInNYC: Seeing you today was a tease!
Sal: Why?
Winter InNYC: Because I like seeing you and 5 min at the pump isn’t enough!
WinterInNYC: Guess I shouldn’t have said anything.
Sal: Look, I really like hanging out with you but I don’t see this going anywhere.
WinterInNYC: Of course this isn’t going anywhere! We barely talk and you have kept me at arms length for the past month.
Sal: That wasn’t my intention. I’m just being honest.
WinterInNYC: Thanks for letting me know.
Sal: Sorry :-\

I was crushed.

I’ve lost guys before.
I’ve lost guys before for not being pretty enough, skinny enough or smart enough.
I’ve lost guys before for being too clingy.
I’ve lost guys before for being Jewish.
I’ve lost guys before for not being dirty enough or for being too dirty.

But in all of my 33 (almost 34) years on this earth, I have never lost a guy because of my political beliefs.

It ended with a bush, George Bush.