I’m fishing. I’ve been fishing. I’ve been fishing my entire life. I’m sitting in the same fancy boat with my bedazzled rod and my yummy bait and I’m waiting…for years I’ve been waiting. I’m pretending that fishing is fun. I won’t admit that I’m losing hope. I won’t admit that my patience is wearing thin. I’m still waiting for a healthy delicious attractive fish to come along and get hooked but instead I wind up (sea)sick and (sun)burned with smelly fingers and I’m alone because I had to throw back the crap fish I did catch that werent fit for human consumption.

My last two rejects catches….

Name: Steve
Location: Queens
Age: 34
Employment: Insurance Adjuster

Steve: What do you do?
WinterInNYC: I’m a __________ __________ in the city.
Steve: Ouch
WinterInNYC: Yeah
Steve: Long commute 😦
WinterInNYC: Its ok. 45 min on the train.
Steve: That’s not that awful, you must get a bunch of reading done
WinterInNYC: I do! Do you read books?
Steve: Mostly magazines. U? 50 shades? Lol
WinterInNYC: I read a lot – and yes I’ve read 50 but it’s not my normal type of read
Steve: Uh huh sure lol
WinterInNYC: 😛
Steve: Bad girl! I like it
WinterInNYC: Why does that make me bad?
Steve: I hear its naughty
WinterInNYC: Read it and find out.
Steve: That book may be a little much for my virgin eyes and ears

I didn’t feel the need to find out if Steve really was a virgin. But I knew that if my reading of 50 Shades of Grey made me a “bad girl” in Steve’s eyes then one perusal of the contents of my night table would result in Steve cumming in his panties or crapping them (maybe both…at the same time).

Next!

Name: Frank
Location: Long Beach
Age: 37
Employment: Electrician

Frank: Can I ask you a personal question?
WinterInNYC: Ok
Frank: I better not u might get mad 😦
WinterInNYC: Might as well ask now that you brought it up!
Frank: Do u wear thongs or g-strings?
WinterInNYC: Strippers wear g-strings – is that what ur looking for?
Frank: Not only strippers wear g-strings silly guess u wear grandma undies lol
Frank: I guess u aren’t interested I will delete your number

This time…I have no words.

untitled

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I am what you call a late bloomer.

I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend/kiss.

The summer before high school I was a counselor at a day camp and met Christopher. He only decided to be my boyfriend after my sister managed to convince him that dating me was a better idea than dating his ex-girlfriend again. Even at 14 I had dating problems.

I was 18 when I had my second boyfriend/kiss.

I waited nearly 2 years for my best friend Ryan to see me as more than a friend. After countless fights and crying over the fact that he didn’t want more than a friendship with me I invited Ryan to my prom, just as friends. He was my best friend and I didn’t want to go with anyone else. To this day I don’t know why Ryan changed his mind about me that night. But he did and we wound up dating the summer before I left for college. Ryan was my first love and my first heartbreak.

And then that was it on the boyfriend front. For a long, long, long time!

I thought college would be a new start for me. It wasn’t.

I had a few random hook-ups that never led anywhere. Oh and then there was Scott who really only loved my blow jobs, never me, and ended our casual relationship by dating my sorority sister. Ouch!

I graduated college and started working in the city where I met Will. We hung out on and off for over a year. I never thought I’d sleep with him. He just wasn’t the guy I had envisioned my first time being with.

But my 23rd birthday was fast approaching and I started getting anxious. I was still a virgin!!! Was this impressive? Did this mean I was a prude? Am I a total fucking loser that no one wants to have sex with?

I felt like I was running out of time. I felt that I was nearing the point where my conversations about my virginity would go from “Awesome! Good for you for waiting!” to “Really? What’s wrong with your vagina??!!”

For my birthday I met Will in the city and we decided to get a hotel room…

At the airport.

The Marriot Courtyard – JFK’s finest airport hotel was where my cherry got popped.

Will was far from my Jewish knight in shining armor I had been waiting for. But he made me feel sexy and loved and safe. He wanted me and he never put pressure on me to have sex with him. I was ready.

There were no candles. There were no flowers. There were no orgasms. Instead of music we had the sound of planes flying over our heads. He may have even paid for the room by the hour.

But even though my first time was far from what I had imagined or hoped for…I remember getting into my car and driving home with the biggest smile on face.

I wasn’t a virgin anymore.

I had no regrets that day.

I have no regrets today.